Day seven: My most nerve-wracking day, yet
Posted on | February 20, 2009
Wanna know how nerve wracking? Let’s put it this way. I woke up every other hour last night, running what we have to cook today over and over again in my head.
See, today we are cooking not one, not two, not even three, but four dishes. But that’s not my big fear. Today, we are also cooking three of those dishes simultaneously. And that, too, is not my biggest fear. And, today we are using the burners for the first time (And these are not those weenie burners we have at home, my dear. No. These burners shoot flames that are six, eight, ten inches taller than the stovetop, they are so not kidding.). But even this does not frighten me (well, maybe a little).
No. What scared me today is that we had to use an insane number of pans and measuring containers, all in a specific size and type. And I can’t tell the difference between aluminum and stainless steel and don’t even get me started on pints versus quarts.
But reality turned out to be something I never could have anticipated.
Off on the wrong foot
So the first thing I do is forget my keys. Panic rummage through my bag. Snap at the patient staying-out-of-my-way husband. Finally have to go back home to get them and am singing “Late, late, can’t be late” in my sleep-deprived head.
Keys, knife kit, pens, paper, bag … off to school.
Eat me
Today, the lecture (and after the upside down schedule of yesterday, we are back to the normal schedule of lecture, demonstration, production) was on flavor.
I’m still not really getting it (truth be told, we are so damn busy in the kitchen, that I barely have time or appetite to taste my own food), so I won’t drive you nuts with this. But I can give you a few terms I found interesting in case you want to talk about what you are eating the way wine connoisseurs talk about what they are drinking.
- Terpenic: This is a pine aroma, like what you smell in fresh rosemary
- Crunchy: Think celery
- Crispy: Think potato chips
- Astringency: This is a cleansing sensation, sort of like what you get with tea
The list was something like five times this long, this stuff is so complicated. But I’ll have to think (and smell and taste and touch and on and on) my way through this before I can talk about it in any way that makes sense.
But what I do get is culinary style humor.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get her some …
Culinary humor comes in two types.
Type one: Bawdy.
Chef to student: “You know what they say about men with big feet, don’t you?”
Me, passing by at exactly the right (or wrong) moment: “That would be compensation, chef.”
Chef, student, me, roaring.
Type two: Silly.
Student to chef in the middle of a discussion on chickens: “Chef, I don’t really understand this chicken and rooster thing. How does a rooster fertilize an egg?”
Chef: “They have chicken sex.”
See, this is what culinary school is really like. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
So what’s the big production?
Here’s what we had to cook today: Rice, polenta, rice pilaf, barley pilaf. Each. So, when my group was done, we had four pots of rice, four of polenta, and four each of the pilafs.
You can imagine all the pans needed. And spoons. And lids. And spoons. And spatulas.
And then there was the cream and butter (for the polenta) and salt and bay leaves and thyme and …
What a nightmare.
So here’s where I got smart: I told the other two members in my group that if they got the equipment, I, along with the fourth member of our group, would get the food.
Brilliant, right? Damn tootin’ that was brilliant because, see, I could not tell the difference between an aluminum and stainless steel saucepan and didn’t know what size any of the unmarked measuring tools were and I was totally embarrassed and horrified by this.
So off we were on what must have looked like an insane scavenger hunt when the chef stopped us and told us everyone had to get their own stuff.
Shit.
But, brilliant, too. Because now I know what containers hold how much. And I can tell the difference between aluminum (light with a duller finish) and stainless steel (bright and heavier) saucepans.
And here’s the kicker
As luck would have it, every time I was doing something right (rinsing my rice in my pot, instead of another container, to save a step) the chef caught me at it. And everytime I was doing something wrong (I never salted any of my dishes) the chef never noticed.
So today I ended up learning tons more than I would have if I had not collected my own equipment and I looked good doing it all. Which is the name of the game in culinary school.
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3 Responses to “Day seven: My most nerve-wracking day, yet”
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February 20th, 2009 @ 10:11 pm
I ended up learning tons more than I would have if I had not collected my own equipment
Well, I suppose that’s why the instructors tell you to do that, isn’t it.
I was also going to explain the difference between aluminum and stainless pans (by weight and finish), but you got that figured out. Still, I’d imagine the stainless pans are really just stainless coating with an aluminum core, because stainless is a really, really poor heat conductor. Don’t get me started or I’ll go all Alton Brown on you.
As far as pints and quarts go, well, that’s why I think we should all use metric in the US, but that’s unlikely to happen any time soon. Just FYI: 1 quart = 2 pints. 1 pint = 2 cups. 1 cup = 8 fl. oz.
February 20th, 2009 @ 10:29 pm
Oh, I guess I shouldn’t be reading in reverse date order, since you’ve already done the quarts to pints and such math.
I’m also surprised to find that those are real all-steel pans. Huh. I do wonder, though, why strength would be an issue unless you’re trying to cook cinder blocks in them or something.
February 23rd, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
ADORE your blogs! I stumbled on them by accident by googling how to keep your souffle from falling, (mine fell, my husband likes to keep the house like a meat locker, now I know) I dream of going to culinary school one day, but until my kids are out of diapers, I’m going to live vicariously through you. I’m thinking of making fried matchstick potatoes now…at least I know it won’t be wasted on my family. 3yr old to 37 yr old everyone loves a fried potato!