Day sixteen: The culinary school student gets food poisoning
Posted on | June 18, 2009
If you had to pick the one, most absurd, thing for a culinary school student to get, it would have to be food poisoning.
Knife cuts, sure, are both dramatic and predictable. Burns, ditto. Even spilling hot liquids, smacking into open oven doors, and smashing a finger or two under a filled-to-the-brim 50 gallon stockpot.
But food poisoning?
The smell of packaged meat brought it on. So violently that I did something I never do.
I went home, early.
The world’s fastest hour
I was in school by 7:30, later than usual, but my only advance production was for two sauces (which, damn it all, I was looking forward to making). So, because there just isn’t that much mise en place required beyond mincing some shallots, gathering aromatics, and pouring out some wine, there was no need to show up earlier.
Going at a leisurely, gabbing-with-the-other-students, pace, I finished most of my mise by 8:00. Then the Chef started to demonstrate these huge cuts of beef.
He took the first one out of the cryovac and the smell just assaulted me.
That was the first time my stomach turned over.
Then, as he lectured, he cut off the fat cap and the silver skin and sliced the meat into steaks, showing us where the ribs had been and talking about the different ways we could prepare the meat.
My head was delighted; I had been waiting weeks to learn this. My stomach, however …
Then he took the second one out of another cryovac and, once again, the smell, well, was the room getting awfully hot, or what?
By 8:30 he was telling us what we were expected to produce for the day (one steak per person, potatoes, vegetables, and of course, sauces). By 8:35 I’m thinking, “Okay, if we roast some fingerlings with clarified butter and savory and sea salt and get some asparagus and lemons and … “). By 8:40 I’m excusing myself from the room. And by 9:00, I was apologizing to him and my teammates, telling them I was just not going to make it.
By 9:20, my very kind husband had left his office and driven all the way to school just to taxi me home (he had the car).
So what did I eat, anyway?
Of course, now that I’m home, I’m doing what everyone who has ever had food poisoning does: Cataloging everything I ate.
I had yet to eat anything today, so let’s look at yesterday.
Now, I don’t eat breakfast before I go to school. I’m not really hungry and I want to be free to taste as much food as I can while I am there.
So the first things I ate were at school. And, because we are supposed to taste everyone’s food, that is where I do the bulk of my eating for the day. With only one other student not in class today, it is unlikely that the school food was the culprit (otherwise, I’m assuming, many students would be ill).
When I get home, I always have either yogurt or cereal. Yesterday, it was cereal. Two bowls, yes, but unless some evil fairy snuck into my open box of cereal or open carton of milk, it is unlikely that was the culprit.
Later on, I had some leftover couscous I brought home from our Middle Eastern menu. And it is also unlikely that was the culprit.
So what did make me ill?
Here is the distraction technique I use for my husband (I think I picked this up from The Family Guy, of all places): “Oh my gosh, is that the Pope over there?”
You wanna know what gave me food poisoning? Well, I think it was … “Oh my gosh, is that the Pope over there?”
In other words, I have no idea.
What does a culinary school student with food poisoning do?
Be bored, mostly.
I tried watching daytime television, but only lasted about three minutes. So I got onto the computer.
And I ate. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I figured I better eat something to try and stave off the nausea. I managed to eat an entire bagel. Buttered, no less. And I’ve made a pot of tea. (To explain my dietary choices, I am Jewish and half English; so as far as I am concerned, there is little a bagel or a nice cup of tea can’t cure!)
I am feeling better.
The nausea is gone thanks to the healing power of bagels everywhere (which is good because I’ll take quite a few other nasty bugs over nausea any day). I’m no longer doing the roller coaster chills / burning / chills thing, also good because I can’t keep putting my t-shirt on and off and on. And, although my stomach is still a bit tender, I don’t feel like I have to make a dash for it.
Which is a relief.
In fact, I’m feeling okay enough that I’d kind of like to go back to school. But they have long since finished production so it would be pretty pointless. I’d also kind of like to take a nap (being sick always seems to take it out of you, doesn’t it?) but I’d also like to get caught up on chores.
I think I’ll just curl up on the couch with a good cookbook. I’ve got a stack by my side of the bed (if you are ever looking for me, your best bet is to look in the cooking section of a used books store). And flipping through cookbooks seems like the best thing to do right now.
Especially as none of them have scratch and sniff!
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2 Responses to “Day sixteen: The culinary school student gets food poisoning”
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June 18th, 2009 @ 10:04 am
That is quite an ironic story.
Just relieved that you didn’t get sick from food at the school.
Hope you bounce back quickly.
June 19th, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
That’s terrible
Yes, it makes for an amusing read but you are a real person behind the screen and I hope you get better soon. I just got my wisdom teeth out. What’s a food blogger to do without my ability to eat? Same, be bored.
To getting well!